User talk:ABardCalledSam
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:Dramatic Narration of Crappy-pastas, by Sam W Govan page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Mystreve (talk) 16:29, November 20, 2014 (UTC) New Categories Please do not create categories. If you make a mistake in typing a category, click the pencil icon to edit or the garbage can icon to delete. There's no need to publish an edit with a non-existent category. See the page for rules about what categories can and cannot be added to pages together or by non-admin, and also for further descriptions of all our existing categories. If you are confused as to how categories on Wikia are supposed to work, please see . The first offense for this is a warning, but the second offense will result in a 1 (one) day block per the . If you feel your new category should be added to this list, leave a message on stating your proposed category and reasons for its inclusion. It must, though, be applicable to at LEAST 10 (ten) existing pages to be considered. The "OC" category has been discontinued, however. Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. 18:27, December 14, 2014 (UTC) :OC is no longer a viable category. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:28, December 14, 2014 (UTC) Re: Edit If you want to check which edits I made on your pasta, simply go to the page history, then click the current or previous edits made and you will find out which edits you or someone else made. Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. 18:31, December 14, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 11:46, April 29, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story You story was basically one large paragraph (it needs to be broken up. A paragraph is typically five to ten sentences with verbal and mental dialogue spaced out to make it easier to read.) and had issues with format: "Daniel sighed with exasperation. She’d put the mustard on the wrong side of his plate again. “Susie, I don’t know how many more times" (This is how the entire story is formatted.) Punctuation issues: "“Look at her”, (comma should be inside quotation marks) he thought. (")She couldn’t care less. What did it matter to her if the mustard went on the left, or the right?(" as it is a continuing thought)", "“Ah”, thought Daniel. " Story issues: "It might seem trivial to you, but for someone with OCD, the smallest of details can hold the utmost importance." Seems like unnecessary exposition to highlight the protagonist's condition. Would he naturally mention that to his significant other like that? The ending needs work: "She’d put the mustard on the wrong side of his plate again." As she's been dead for several days, it seems unlikely that she's the one who put the mustard on the wrong side of the plate. Is he repeating the scene that resulted in her murder? If so, you need to explain that. The story is also pretty generic and the twist is apparent from a mile away. I'm sorry, but this story is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:20, May 3, 2015 (UTC) :"It seems fairly excessive to delete my pasta over what appear to be problems quite individual to your preferences" I'm not sure how punctuation and formatting issues can be equated to being 'my preferences' and as the plot seems recycled from other stories, mainly Grocery List and the slew of other stories revolving around OCD and murder; I doubt readers would see this as a breath of fresh air. :The ending isn't ambiguous, it just isn't that well-written. How does one equate OCD with severe denial (so much so that his girlfriend has been dead for days and he's still pretending she's alive) and not take the opportunity to describe his sentiments or develop his character? Judging from your other stories, it seems like you can write a good story, but this one feels rushed and not that well thought out. If you want the readers to be thinking about a story for hours afterwards, you may want to cover something that they hadn't read before (google OCD creepy pastas and count the results) and raise questions that they want to answer because they were invested in the story. There really are no questions here that don't stem from the lack of explanation/building. :I'm sorry, but my only advice would be to move on to another story or to sit down and really flesh out this one so it is engaging. The appeal has been turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:59, May 3, 2015 (UTC) :Thank you for your feedback xDDDDD. I may have misused the word ambiguous. :I've just been reading some of the horrid things people say to admins, and MAN do you guys have a tough job! Keep up the good work of maintaining standards. :ABardCalledSam (talk) 17:05, May 3, 2015 (UTC) :P.S, i hadn't actually read grocery list when writing this, and still hadn't. I based this on a true story i heard about a 70 year old man stabbing his wife to death for placing mustard on the wrong side of the plate. Thanks anyway. Notice As talk pages serve as a record, please do not blank messages from them. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:31, May 3, 2015 (UTC)